So I've had a panic attack, here's why it's not the end of the world....
Yes - I had another panic attack. Have you had one too? Here's why it's not the end of the world...
I’ve been on top of the anxiety game the last few weeks, until of course, I had a little issue today. Due to my various ruminating negative thoughts that have been filling my head for the past few weeks (have a very out-of-my-comfort-zone event coming up, unknown living situation, relationship, covid fear, over consuming world news in general lol) I had a bad panic attack early afternoon that I couldn’t kick myself & had to take a Xanax. It was around 12:15 & I had a meeting with my boss at 1:00pm. Even with the Xanax, I was still having hot flashes, a fast heart beat, woozy etc. and I really felt tired and like I just needed to sleep for 2 hours.
Normally, I would bend over backwards for work & was trying to plan how I was going to make this meeting. And then I thought.. you know what, I know my body feels like it needs sleep, I don’t want to do this meeting like this, I can just be brave and tell my boss the truth. So, for the first time ever after working here for 3 years, I told my boss the honest truth — I was dealing with with a panic attack and wanted to postpone the meeting until tomorrow so I could calm down. I dreaded the response expecting the worst, and guess what… she was totally understanding and didn’t mind postponing the meeting at all.
I guess what I’m trying to say in this stream of conscious is don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself! Your mental health ALWAYS always always trumps work. If you’re not feeling great, say something! Most likely, people will understand. Most likely, everyone around you has struggled at some point.
Also, like I’ve reiterated time and time again, bumps in the road happen. I prefer not to call it a “relapse” because it does not mean you have fallen behind and all of your progress is lost. If anything, I beat anxiety in this situation. I spoke up and did what was best for my body; and I indeed wokeup from my nap feeling much better.
“The goal isn’t to never be anxious, the goal is to be anxious and do it anyway.”
XOXO
Jillian
I’ve been on top of the anxiety game the last few weeks, until of course, I had a little issue today. Due to my various ruminating negative thoughts that have been filling my head for the past few weeks (have a very out-of-my-comfort-zone event coming up, unknown living situation, relationship, covid fear, over consuming world news in general lol) I had a bad panic attack early afternoon that I couldn’t kick myself & had to take a Xanax. It was around 12:15 & I had a meeting with my boss at 1:00pm. Even with the Xanax, I was still having hot flashes, a fast heart beat, woozy etc. and I really felt tired and like I just needed to sleep for 2 hours.
Normally, I would bend over backwards for work & was trying to plan how I was going to make this meeting. And then I thought.. you know what, I know my body feels like it needs sleep, I don’t want to do this meeting like this, I can just be brave and tell my boss the truth. So, for the first time ever after working here for 3 years, I told my boss the honest truth — I was dealing with with a panic attack and wanted to postpone the meeting until tomorrow so I could calm down. I dreaded the response expecting the worst, and guess what… she was totally understanding and didn’t mind postponing the meeting at all.
I guess what I’m trying to say in this stream of conscious is don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself! Your mental health ALWAYS always always trumps work. If you’re not feeling great, say something! Most likely, people will understand. Most likely, everyone around you has struggled at some point.
Also, like I’ve reiterated time and time again, bumps in the road happen. I prefer not to call it a “relapse” because it does not mean you have fallen behind and all of your progress is lost. If anything, I beat anxiety in this situation. I spoke up and did what was best for my body; and I indeed wokeup from my nap feeling much better.
“The goal isn’t to never be anxious, the goal is to be anxious and do it anyway.”
XOXO
Jillian